Tuesday
Decadent Eighties Featured Pick
Twelve hours of Miami Vice (TNN, 8am-8pm). Guest stars include Phil Collins, Duran Duran, Bill Paxton, Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, James Brown, John Leguizamo, and G. Gordon Liddy. But not the Penn Jillette episode.
KISS: Beyond the Makeup (VH1, 6pm) covers the highlights of KISS’s career. If one-tenth of the stories I’ve heard are true, this should be fascinating. And even if they’re malicious gossip, I hope they’re included in the program.
If you remember my last stint as guest host, you know that I’m watching Babylon 5 (Sci-Fi, 6 pm) for the first time. So I don’t know anything about “Rumors, Bargains, and Lies,” other than the fact that it’s midway through season four.
The Wizard of Oz (TCM, 7pm) is, as you probably already know, a fine movie. If you want to know more about it, stay tuned for Wonderful Wizard of Oz: 50 Years of Magic (TCM, 9pm), hosted by Angela Lansbury. Rare film clips, anecdotes, and interviews with very old Munchkins. I made that last part up, but it wouldn’t surprise me.
Series Premiere: SPY TV (NBC, 7pm)
Michael Ian Black (currently Phil on Ed, formerly Johnny Bluejeans on Viva Variety) hosts a show of wacky pranks. As far as I can make out, it’sabout exacting revenge and taping the results. No word on whether Black will be using the name “Johnny Thunderbolt”.
High Noon (AMC, 7pm) gave Gary Cooper an Oscar and the rest of us a great, great movie. If you haven’t seen it, you know you ought to, right? And here it is on your television, waiting to be seen.
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (ABC, 7pm) has United States Olympians. I’m not sure who well that’s going to work out, since a lot of top athletes spent their youths training and exercising instead of absorbing the kind of useless information you need to do well.
Believe it or not, they’re still doing the World’s Strongest Man Competition (ESPN, 7pm). I know it seems like it’s always the same episode, which was probably taped thirty years ago, but tonight they’re showing an hour of the 2000 competition, which was in Sun City, South Africa. Essential viewing if you want to know who the current strongest man in the world is.
On Go Fish (NBC, 7:30pm), Fish wants to be on the wrestling team, but has to beat a — gulp — girl! It kind of sounds like they got this plot out of a Random Sitcom Episode Generator, but I assure you it’s real.
Frasier (NBC, 8pm) is a Christmas episode, guest-starring Kim Coles.
Dark Angel (Fox, 8 pm), like almost everything else, is a rerun. There are two main plots: Max’s attempt to rescue her siblings from the evil Manticore, and Max and Logan work on their relationship. Plus, there’s probably some kung fu.
Witchblade (TNT, 8pm) isn’t a good show. I’m not going to lie to you. But at least it’s not a retun. Besides, there’s supposedly a “handsome Irish rocker” responsible for Celtic rituals involving people being sacrificed in New York streets. So even though it’s bad, it sounds like it could hold your interest.
Kristin (NBC, 8:30pm) tries to maintain her ambitions of being on Broadway in the face of her visiting mother (Debra Monk).
Jay Leno has Chris Rock on The Tonight Show (NBC, 10:35pm). He also has someone called “Giselle”, who I assume is a supermodel of some sort. I think this is a rerun, which would mean that Rock is pushing Down to Earth instead of Pootie Tang.
The Late Show With David Letterman (CBS, 10:35pm) is a rerun with kid scientists and Juliette Lewis.
The Late Late Show (CBS, check your local listings) is also a rerun, with Ben Affleck and Colleen Haskell, who I believe was on a game show of some sort at some point.
Late Night With Conan O’Brien (NBC, 11:35pm) is yet another rerun. I don’t even get new Late-Night shows to work with! This one has Camryn Mannheim, The Weakest Link’s Anne Robinson, and Swag.
